When our communication styles are compatible with others
we experience an easy match with low risk of conflicts.
Sometimes however they differ, and unless we are able to
shift our energy to achieve clear communication, we set the
scene for arguments and conflicts. We then lose the
co-operation of those around us producing negative results.
Rick is the marketing manager of a local company. He was asked to develop a new Customer Relationship Management
system. The system has been launched last month with a big
bang. Paul has asked Rick for a meeting to discuss the
feedback they have received so far.
Let's see what happens next...
For Paul formal manners are a way to show respect.
Rick approaches others in an easy-going manner. He likes to have a good time and enjoy the present.
Paul’s strengths on the other hand are to be dedicated, conscientious and observant…
…and he expects the same commitment from everybody around him.
Meetings with people like Rick are usually fun and light-hearted. They’re great at keeping energies up while still working.
Rick and Paul are not communicating on the same wavelength. Paul is focused on the details of the report, whilst Rick casually remarks on the general reactions to the tool.
With miscommunication happening, Paul shows the first signs of distress and starts to ask perfectionistic questions.
As they are not on the same communication wavelength, Rick also displays the first signs of distress. He has a struggling expression and shrugs his shoulders in a helpless gesture.
With an overcomplicated question Paul compares now what he perceives as his own impeccable commitment to what he also perceives as Ricks questionable attitude.
Rick slipping further into distress now shows typical distress behaviour searching for someone (anyone!) to blame.
In considerable distress himself, Paul attacks Rick as he now perceives him being disrespectful and rude.